Monday, November 7, 2011

Pregnancy, Childbirth & Motherhood

Motherhood, a simple word that comes with a complex responsibility. Being a woman is not all about hair, shoes, bags and make-up. Yes! It is our obsession but as what we always hear especially on pageants; the essence of being a woman is to bear a child. Well it is true! I’ve been through the phase of my life that I was worried, crying about facing the reality that I am to become a mother. I’m worried because I know it is hard and I don’t know how to become one. I’ve heard a lot of things about giving birth. Sabi nila yung isang paa daw ng nanganganak nasa hukay meaning it’s a risk to live. It’s been 3 months now from the day I gave birth to my first born child, Knicole but the pain of childbirth is still fresh from my memory. The pain and the actual feeling. It was the 24th of July, 2011. When I woke up, I got straight to the bathroom to pee when I noticed a red discharge it was like a first day of menstruation. The first thing on my mind was, ”Opps! meron pala ako ngayon….” I said that because I was still sleepy. When I got into my senses, I just realized I can’t be bleeding…I’m pregnant! I suddenly rushed to fix the things I prepared for my delivery. Adrenalin rush! I called everyone within my reach and telling them to rush me into the hospital. I called my mom on the phone and told her what happened but she asked me if I’m in pain then I said “no!” I just notice a blood and that’s it. She laughed. She even wants me to come to our house My reaction was, “Huh?...hindi pwede baka manganak ako sa daan! isugod nyo na ko sa ospital! She’s calm and said that I was on labor. I just have to walk for an easier delivery. She’s a mother and I have to trust her. She’s been though this experience so I listened to her. I went to our house but I left my things ready for pick-up just in case it’s already time. On that day, It doesn’t hurt that much but I even sang to our videoke. After we had lunch we went to the church (Don Bosco Church) and got straight to the mall (The Landmark) for dinner. While eating dinner I felt something gush out on my undies. It was something wet. I told my mom and went to the ladies room to check what it is. It was a whole blood. I panic! We suddenly run to get a cab. On the cab, my legs are shaking. My mom was on panic. She holds my legs to stop the shaking. When we got to my Ob-gyne, the doctor checked the opening of my cervix. It was still close so the doctor advised us to go home but she told me to check my contractions. Of course we went home knowing it was just a false alarm. I got into my bed but the pain is now stronger. I feel the contractions every 15 minutes and damn! It hurts so badly! I believe it was 11pm of the same day. My water breaks when I got up to tell my in-laws that it was coming. Now everyone is on panic. We are going back to the hospital with just 2 hours interval. I was brought to the delivery room. My pelvic area, my belly, everything is in pain. I felt like I’m dying. On that moment I prayed as hard as I can. I was crying. I’m afraid of the situation. The doctors put a lot of medical gadgets on my body. The closer the baby is, the more pain I experience. July 25, 2011 at exactly 5:55 in the morning, I was officially a mother. When she comes out, I was relieved. She’s a healthy baby girl. Immediately after the baby comes out, they inject something on me for me to be asleep. When I woke up I’m already on the room with the nurses. The doctors didn’t give the baby to me until they was sure that I was okay. July 26, in the morning I went to the bathroom and when I come out, I saw a nurse holding a baby. She was looking for me. I know that the baby she was holding was mine. My heart beats fast. I’m nervous. It’s the first time that I will see and finally hold my baby after the long wait. As I opened my arms to get her, my tears are falling. I felt different. I was staring at her while crying. Her eyes, her face, her little arms and legs, she’s so wonderful. On that moment I felt the presence of God’s blessing on my arms. The miracle of life. No words can explain how grateful and happy I am. The pain, the suffering and the long wait was all worth it. Pregnancy is not easy and giving birth is most painful thing a woman can experience in her life. The childbirth was an experience that made me stronger. After all that I’ve been through, I know that I am now a stronger woman. I have to be… for my husband and for my daughter. I am now a mother. I know I have a huge responsibility ahead of me but I’m facing it all with courage. God didn’t left me along this journey and I know he never will. He gave me a loving husband, a beautiful daughter and that is already called a blessing. A blessing that I will treasure everyday of my life.

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